Akatsuki's bad acting
by closedofHeart
Summary: Akatsuki's playing sleeping beauty only problem is they can't act for nuts. Script is written by  a little deixTobi and a little ZetxHid no yaoi but lots of humour. I tried to put in their real personalities in it. No flames please.


I don't naruto or its charactors I just own my imagination (sigh)

This next story is probably written about six or seven versions already so I just post this up to read when I'm bored.

"Well everyone drew out a ticket already ?" Leader asked.

"Do we have to ?" Hidan asked.

Slashing and some screaming as Hidan's head got cut off.

"No Arguments just draw and act" Kakuzu said threateningly "any questions ?"

After some grumbling the they drew the lots.

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Deidara: Oi we ready yet hm ??

Hidan: if you're so fucking free , come down and help us you asshole.

Deidara: I'm the presenter hmm.

Tobi : um Senpai you didn't draw , I'm the presenter see.

Deidara: Shut Tobi I'm the subsitute presenter , hurry up and start hmm

Tobi : um leader ?

Leader : might as well ….lets begin.

Sasori :but the others have not got on their costumes yet ….

Hidan :Like Hell I'm gonna wear that Gay ass outfit !!!

WZetsu :this is a joke right?

Bzetsu :must be…

Kakuzu :I make them from the excess trash lying around , saves money so get into them.

Blue hair : Did anybody memorise the script ?

(silence…)

Blue hair: um nevermind we just improvise…

Leader : alright lets begin

Itachi: if we must….

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Cast

Presenter-Tobi ,Sub presenter-Deidara

Script-Tobi

Director and coordinator-leader

Costumes-kakuzu

King-kisame

Queen-kakuzu

Three Good fairies :leader , blue hair and Itachi

Evil witch-Orochimaru

evil minion-Sasori

Prince-Hidan

Sleeping beauty-Zetsu

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_**Sleeping Beauty**_

Tobi : Ahem … Once in a far away kingdom there was a … blue king and his frugal Queen….

Deidara: haha that's telling them Tobi

Tobi:Diedara Senpai!! Anywaythe king and queen were sad because they have no children.

Kakuzu: like hell do you know how much kids cost these days ????

Deidara:Spare me their kids would look double ugly , yuck

Tobi: um …please children are watching , anyway the king and queen consulted the three good fairies.

Lights flash on the three fairies…

Kisame: (stepping forward) Umm... Itachi-san I want a kid .. where do I get one ?

Leader:(throwing up his hands in despair) Noooo….um I mean Itachi will tell you.

Itachi:(Sighs) I have no idea why I'm here in the first place…

Leader: ITACH !!

Itachi: Alright … don't worry kisame … I mean king a baby will be born to you to you soon ….

(lights off) INTERMISSION

Deidara: Tobi , Whose sleeping beauty ?

Tobi(looking at script): Oh... its Zetsu san

Deidara:What ?!!!! Who the hell decided the cast ??

Tobi: That's what the draw was for Deidara senpai…Shh its starting

(lights on ) INTERMISSION OVER

Tobi: In time a un… interesting princess was born. The three good witches came to give them gifts …

Leader thinking (they don't really expect to say all that flowery crap do they??)

Stepping forward he creates lines that wont make him lose his dignity.

Leader: I expect her to be the most unique in all the land.

Tobi :Leader that's not in the script !!

Blue hair : Ya I don't have to say those lines either )

Steps forward and flourishes in a dramatic voice : "MAY SHE NEVER BE HUNGRY. Your turn Itachi" She smiles.

Itachi : what do you expect me to say ???

(Lights off suddenly and a single spot light flashes onto a person coming on stage.)

Orochimaru: Ku ku ku …. Why wasn't I invited…

Itachi : Orochimaru…..

Kisame charges forward: You'll ruin everything

Kakuzu : Why the hell are you here ????

Leader : we're short of people anyway….

Blue hair : Leader !!!

Orochimaru : Itachi give your body if not I curse the princess

Itachi: No way in hell

Orochimaru :Ku ku Ishall give her a curse on her 17 birthday the princess will died because of a spinning needle….

And will that he runs away off the stage…..

Tobi:So far no one has spoke the lines I wrote on the script (sniff)

Deidara : like hell hmm !!

Tobi : but senpai I wrote those lines thinking that you'ill be the princess …..

Deidara: Why you ….(taking out his clay)

BOOM!

Tobi : UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

Deidara:Shut up hmm !!

Leader:Deidara take over !

Deidara: must I ???

Leader: think of it as art….

Itachi: can I continue ??

Leader : go on

Itachi : Fear not your majesties , I still haven't yet give my wish. Your daughter will not die on her 17 birthday because of a spinning needle , but she shall fall into a deep sleep and shall only awaken by a kiss of a prince…

(lights off) INTERMISSION

Leader : good work Itachi ...

Itachi : after seeing Hidan's face I couldn't resist

Hidan : Itachi you bastard !!

Deidara: I cant wait for it either go on hidan make it a hot and saucy one !

Hidan: I'll run away before that happens !!!

Kakuzu : How ? You're a fucking head

Hidan : Fucking bastards one of these days I'm gonna sacrifice you in Jasshin's name !!

Kakuzu dragged over Hidan's body tentacles slashing menacingly. Hidan shuts up.

Kakuzu : well?

Hidan :…….

Kakuzu: I cant hear you speak louder.

Hidan: Alright … can you please sew me back together , I'll take the stupid role..

(lights on) INTERMISSION OVER

Deidara :The princess grew up and she…SHEEEEEEEEEEEE Oh MY GOD MY EYES !

Sasori: I cant look anymore

Kisame : YUCK what the hell ????

Itachi: what is it I cant see ….(tries to activate sharingan)

Kisame covers Itachi's eyes.

Kisame:its better you don't see this itachi san …..

Leader's eyes were and shut yelling : Zetsu CHANGE BACK please..

Zetsu: Roger

Deidara : leader lets not put Zetsu in dresses ever…

Leader : Deidara I agree will what you say but cant you continue ?

Deidara: Right so in short on her 17 birthday the princess say a spinning needle in her room even though all the spinning needles were ordered to be scrapped by the queen.

Kakuzu :Wrong I sold them since none of us sew our clothes anyway…..that one is my precious antique from the first hokage.

Deidara : You stole it you mean oh no wait !!! Zetsu !!

Bzetsu: looks tasty.

Wzetsu :yeah

Bzetsu : lets do what leader always tells us to do…glomps

Kakuzu: NOOOO my antique !!!!

(lights off) INTERMISSION

Leader: get him away quicky !

Deidara: phew I'm beat alright Tobi take over ….

Tobi:…..

Deidara : Tobi ???

Tobi : ZZZZZZ

(takes out bag of clay)

Deidara : Hey TIME TO WAKE UP HMM !!!!!!

BOOM!!!!!

Tobi: UWAAAAH!

(lights on ) INTERMISSION OVER

Deidara: And now the prince appears. Heh heh Hidan even Jashin cant save you now hmm ?

Hidan wearing a fluffly prince outfit : bastards….

Leader: Shut up and save the princess , prince

Hidan : Is the fucking fairy even allowed to say that ? Who's gonna save me ???

Orochimaru appears with a reluctant Sasori.

Orochimaru: GIVE ME YOUR BODY OR DIE !!!

Hidan (happy for once) : Hey I get to kill Orochimaru , I'll kill you !!!!

Deidara looks angry : Hey ! Let me have a go too !!!

Orochimaru backing away : Not so fast , attack my minion !!!

Sasori swings his metal tail menancingly :Not on your life.

Hidan : DIE ! (and swings his scythe ) Orochimaru got knocked back.

(poof turns back to Yuura)

Itachi : I thought you told Zetsu to dispose of Yuura

Leader: I recycle

Itachi: Oh could explain why it didn't seem like Orochimaru….

(lights off)the scenery changes.

(lights on )Zetsu is lying on the floor.

Zetsu: I think I'm gonna vomit…

Deidara:And now the prince must kiss the princess for the story to end ..

Hidan : WTF ?

Itachi : do it

Sasori : finish it don't keep me waiting …

Hidan: crap

Kakuzu: Do you want to become a stinking head again ?

Kisame: I got a camera

Leader : I got a video camera.

Blue hair : Leader same won't his head get eaten by Zetsu ?

Hidan : Finally some support ! That's right don't you other guys even care ??

Blue hair :I mean that will be very funny a new video to my collection. (taking out expensive recording equiment and continues very seriously) Mustn't forget to include the sound effects

Hidan :Traitor !!!(starts to turn away but got manipulated by Sasori's strings)

With a tremedous effort Hidan screams : I CANT DO IT !!! (and struggles free in the process , the blunt end of his scythe hits Zetsu in the stomach who vomits outs the wheel.

Zetsu: I feel better thanks Hidan (and walks away)

There was a few moment of silence before.

Kakuzu: My antique its ruined !!!!!

Kisame : FOUL !!

Sasori : that's all ? (expecting some action )

Itachi: Waste of time …..

Leader : finish it Deidara…

Deidara was still shock.

Tobi : Umm senpai ?

Deidara Shaking his head : Tobi about time, finish this so we can go back to the hideout hmm.

Tobi: Thing is this is being broadcast to the entire world. )

Everyone : WHAT ?!

Tobi : You see I thought it'll be cool if the world saw how fearsome Akatsuki is , so I used several webcams and loaded it on to the net so how did it go ?

Leader : You idiot !

Kakuzu: Our fear rate will be down after this we'll be mocked.

Kisame: I didn't look too bad in it I guess ….

Itachi : I'm too ashamed.

Blue hair : ha ha lucky I'm still a shadow )

Sasori : Why don't we just destroy the film ?

Tobi : Um thing is it's live right now they can see everything of what we're doing right now including you using your jutsu on me senpai ….

Deidara's only reply was taking out his clay and saying " I'm gonna attach you to my art and send you to the moon ."

Everyone : Kill him !!!

Tobi : now now don't be angry …

BOOOM !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tobi : WAAAAAHHHHH !!!

THE END


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